Maybe I'm Just A Dreamer

“I don’t want to be called sexy, hot, cute or even pretty. I want to be called
beautiful.”

I love that quote because it’s exactly what I feel. Nothing is beautiful anymore. Everything is ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’. If a guy ever calls me beautiful, I’ll know he’s something special.

See it’s my opinion that the words ‘hot’ and ‘sexy’ has been bogged down by so many repulsive, disrespectful implications, that it has ultimately become a derogatory term. It has a devious way of cheapening whatever it is that it’s describing, and it tends to bug me.

I want a guy to fall so deeply and madly in love with him, that even if I’m in my sweats, my hair in a ponytail, sobbing with makeup running down my face, to him, I’m still nothing less than beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning.

“This I truly know: she’s out there. My Cinderella. She is real. She exists. I pray for her constantly. May God satisfy the desires of her heart, draw her close, consumer her. May He claim her passions, her identity, her refuge, her hopes, her strengths and weaknesses, every fiber of her being. May she treasure and cherish her Savior more than anything of this world, and cling to His will with every ounce of her stamina. By all that she is, does and strives to be, may He draw near to her and she to Him.” (Adam Young)

I want a guy like that.

A guy who only wants the best for me. Who wants me to be more caught up in God than I am in Him. And guys like that are hard to come by these days. But I know I’ll find the one. With God’s help.

Even when we’re eighty- five and in a nursing home, I still want him to be utterly enamored with me. When he sees me, I want his mouth to go dry and his heart to beat widely around in his heart like a dull jackhammer. And the butterflies in his stomach to feel as if they’ve overdosed on caffeine. I I want him to be speechless. I know it’s a tall order, but hey, with God, all things are possible, right?

“And I feel like getting married and knowing that she saved herself for me, and I for her. And God kept her safe and sound and secure for me while I was off flying and scuba diving and she was off dreaming and singing and blushing.” (Adam Young)

How romantic would that be? I mean, saving yourself for your future husband or wife? If he was the only one you’ll ever be with? Wouldn’t that make you feel beyond special, if he loved you so much, even before he met you, that he never gave his body away? Even more importantly, if he never let anyone else even come close to where you will one day be. Can you even imagine?

I know that there are a lot of things for me to see and a lot of things for me to do. There’s plenty of years left until I fall in love.

Time. There’s so much time.

There’s so much time left and lots of life seasons. There’s so much to see, do and be. I have my whole life ahead of me.

But I am happy. I must take it all in and treasure reality. With a heart crammed full of dreams as life plays out day- by- day. Should I do that, I’ll finally rest assured knowing that one day, my day will finally come.

“All beautiful are you, my darling. There is no flaw in you.”
-Song of Songs 4:7

Love, Nellie