Peter Pan and Wendy Turned Out Fine

How cute is this, friends? Peter Pan and Wendy got married in real life! What a cute story that will make!

You.

You. Yes, you. I am writing this for you.

I know you are reading this. And I want you to know I am writing this for you. No one else will understand. No one else knows. They think that this is for them. But it’s not. I am writing this for you.

I want you to know, life…it’s hard. Every day can be a challenge. It can be a challenge to get up in the morning. To get yourself out of bed. To put on that smile. But I want you to know, that smile is what keeps me going some days. You need to remember, even through the tough times, you are amazing. You really are.

You should be happy. You are gorgeous.

I know that the weather might not be perfect. You might have to turn your back to the wind or feel the cold nipping at your nose. But you know what, at least you are there to feel it. At least you can enjoy the sun’s warm rays on your face. Or that cold February wind biting at your cheeks. You know what that means?

You are alive.

Everything will be okay.

"Remember, you treat a girl like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, then a person again." -Shawn Spencer

Far Away

Listen to this while you read! :)

Eleven months. It’s been Eleven months since I’ve seen you. Eleven long, torturous months. Eleven months since I boarded that plane. It’s been eleven months too long. And, love, I miss you. But there’s only a couple more months until I can come home and see you and Aubree, and that’s what keeps me going.

I can’t wait to see her, to meet her, to hold her in my arms. Does she have my curls and your eyes? Or your smile and my dimples? The pictures you send just aren’t enough. How could they ever be enough, when I know there’s a little girl across the sea, waiting to call me Daddy?

I carry the picture you sent me in my boot. You and her. It’s my good luck charm. My two girls. The woman who owns my heart and the little girl who already has me wrapped around my finger.

Every night, I lay awake and stare at it. Shadows dance across the walls and scenes play out in my head, things I’ve missed. I was deployed only a month before Aubree was born, and I kick myself every day for missing the birth of my child.

I can only imagine how that would have gone. I can imagine you waking me up at three in the morning, whispering that your water broke. As we both know, I would have freaked out. You would have been the calm one, grabbing the overnight bag and the keys.

            Her first smile, her first steps, so many things I’ve missed out on. I’m sorry, love, but I’m coming home. I’m coming back to the place I belong. Only a few more months, and we’ll be together again. In just a few months, we’ll be a family.

            I love you. Forever yours, Ryan

            The letter ends, and I smile. “I miss you,” I whisper. It’s been so long since he’d left. I just want to be together again. I want to see his face, hold his hand, hear his laugh.

            I grab Aubree from her crib and head downstairs to feed her lunch. Opening the cabinet, I pull out her favorite snack and set it on the counter, but the sound of the doorbell fills my ear.

            I shift her to my other hip as I head for the entry way. “Just a second, baby girl,” I tell her as I open the wooden door.

I freeze when I see the camouflage that the man wears. His hair is cut short, his combat boots laced all the way up, and dog tags hang from his neck. In his hand is a thin envelope, and his last name is stitched onto his shirt. Johnston. His eyes are apologetic, and that’s what hits me the hardest. His eyes. Deep blue with flecks of silver, and filled with sorrow.

“Mrs. Grace?” 

I can’t answer. I know what’s coming. He’s gone.

“Ma’am?”

“Y-yes. That’s me,” I force myself to choke out.

“You’re husband was killed last week. It was a roadside bomb. Almost every man in the vehicle was killed.”

“What?”

“He’s dead, ma’am.”

The four letter, one syllable word hits me hard, knocking all the air out of my lungs. I lean forward, and place my free hand on my knee, the other still supporting Aubree. I can barley breathe. When I was finally able to draw in a breath, it sounded like a wounded animal. It was a gut- wrenching, broken cry, so desperate and mournful.

I slowly stand upright, hand over my mouth, stifling my sobs, and look at him. “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am,” He hands me the letter and turns to leave but then turns back around. “He was a very honorable man. I knew him personally, and that’s something I’m proud to say.”

            “T-thank you,” I whisper and shut the heavy wooden door. I collapse on the couch, sobbing. “No, no, no, no, no,” I wail, repeating it over and over.

            Aubree soon joins in, whimpering softy. Whether if it’s from hunger or from hearing me cry, or if she can sense something is wrong, I don’t know. “Shhh,” I whisper. I hold her head close to my shoulder and rock back and forth. “Don’t cry, baby, don’t cry,” I tell her, even though my weeping is louder than hers.

            My gaze catches in the mirror above the fireplace, and I’m startled. I don’t cry often, but now my eyes are red and puffy. They’re full of fear, anger and despair. But the thing that strikes me the most is the full-blown terror.

            “Ryan….” It’s the only word I can manage, when really, I want to say how much this hurt, tell him that I can’t do this, that it was too much. But I can’t. He isn’t here. He can’t hear me. He’ll never be here again. He’ll never meet the daughter who looks just like him. He’ll never get to teach her how to ride a bike, or how to drive a car. He’ll never get to sing her to sleep or kiss me goodnight.

            What’d I’d do for one more chance, just one more day with him.

Happy Ever Afters

Day 18- My wedding\ my future wedding\ my past wedding.

As all of you know, I'm the biggest hopeless romantic anyone will ever meet, so naturally, i have my wedding day all planned out.

I want my wedding dress to look something like these.

I want my invitations to look something like these:

I would love for my rings to look something like this!

I want an outdoor wedding, maybe even a casual picnic reception like this:

I love these cakes!:

I love these flowers!:

My Perfect Man

So I’m sitting here, watching The Perfect Man and scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I see that one of my friends recently got engaged. I don’t know the whole back story, or how he did it, but the pictures were adorable. They got engaged on a snowy hill in Colorado, him standing in rose peddles, her cheeks red more from anxious excitement than from cold.

And the perfect man is about a girl who creates a fake, perfect man for her mom, who keeps landing in bad relationships. It’s about stumbling into love and not looking for it. After all, isn’t that why they call it falling in love? Because you don’t mean too, you just do.

But on the subject of the perfect man, I sometimes love to dream. Okay, no, I always love to dream. I tell myself that whatever guy I end up with in the end, he’ll be way better than anyone else, but it’s fun to make up your own perfect man. What would he be if you could chose? What color hair? How old? What color eyes? Muscular?

I would want him to be a blonde or brunette. He’s be taller than me, and be maybe a year or two older. He’d have the body of a soccer player or rock star. You know, they’re all tall and skinny, but not gangly. They still have muscles, but not overwhelmingly large ones. It’s adorable. He’d have an accent, preferably British, or even Irish. He’ll have strategically placed dimples and a smile that brightens the room, and his, and his eyes lights up the room. His intense emerald eyes will light up when he smiles, and he’ll make adorably funny faces when I’m upset or we’re fighting, or just for fun. He’d be his own person, and know who he is. He’d be the same in the dark and in the light. He’d be silly and know how to have fun, but also know when to get serious.

But then again, those are only from my imagination, things I like to pretend about. It’ll all change by next week. Some things I am serious about, like my perfect man needing to be the same wherever, whenever, whoever he’s around, no matter what. He needs to know who he is. And also I need someone I can have fun with, someone who I can be both silly and serious with.

There are silly things I want, like accents and dimples, and serious things I want, like a growing relationship with Christ and honesty. And I’m not giving up until I find a guy who meets all my requirements- requirements, not wishful dreaming. Who cares if a guy has blonde hair or black hair? What matters is what he’s like. Call me picky. Call me close- minded. Call my standards too high. Call me whatever you like, but I’m not settling until I find my perfect.

“Because a flower like this is perfect. And giving a woman a dozen of them, it’s like saying there is such a thing as perfect. And it’s out there. Don’t give up. You’ll find it."

eH

Thank You

My wide eyes searched the huge room, scanning each person’s face, looking for the only one that really mattered. Two years ago, I’d stood in this same place, walked this same path. Only then, my heart had been hammering like a jackhammer in my chest from fear and sorrow, not anticipation, like now. Tears had been pouring down my cheeks, my heart following the guy who’d just boarded a plane.

I search for Caleb’s deep green eyes, the ones I could see so brightly in my mind, even when we were oceans apart. I search for his brown hair that used to fall over the tops of his ears, and his strong hands, the ones that looked so tough, but were really so tender.

My eyes briefly pause on each person’s face, moving on when I see that it isn’t his familiar face looking back at me, etched with a lopsided smile and strategically placed dimples.

Finally, my eyes land on someone whose face echoes mine, anxiousness and impatience engraved in every inch of his countenance. His eyes find mine, and his grin spreads across his face. I start towards him, not breaking his gaze as my pace quickens, and his does the same.

A few steps before he reaches me, Caleb drops his black duffle back and I rush into his outstretched arms. My feet are lifted off the ground as he hugs me and my arms hook around his neck. His embrace is so strong, so tight I can barely breathe, but I don’t care. My feet touch the ground again, but the rest of me is still on Cloud Nine. I run my fingers over the light stubble on his jawbone as he cradles my head in his hands and presses his lips to mine.

He pulls away and holds me at arm length, hands on my shoulders. The smile on his face doesn’t fade as his eyes wander from my head to my toes and back again. I knew what he was doing, because I was doing the same. He wanted to take in everything that had changed in the two long years since we’d last seen each other. He wanted to memorize me, just as I wanted to memorize him. His army- green camouflage uniform was tucked into his combat boots, his last name stitched into a patch on his chest, and his dog tags hung around his neck. His cocoa colored hair was cut in a typical military cut, short and standing up straight.

Caleb pulled me back towards him, into another embrace, kissing me another time before he grabbed his duffle back and laced his fingers with mine, his thumb stroking the back of my hand, back and forth, back and forth. We head towards the exit of the crowded airport, and just before we reach the swinging doors, an older gentleman stops us, his hand on my husband’s shoulder.

“Thank you.”

Erin and Lyss!

This is a picture of me and my two friends, Alyssa and Erin. They’re cousins and they’re both hilarious, they’re constantly cracking me up and leaving me wondering why I have such weird friends- in the best way possible.

Alyssa is so funny. When you're with her, you can't help but laugh. She's so gorgeous, and great at so many things. I'm honestly really blessed to know her.

I've known Erin since third grade Sunday School at our church. She always says that she used to be quiet, at least until she met me. Now she's the craziest person I know, and I love her with all my heart.

They’ve both been through a lot- we all have- and we stick together. They’re both really amazing girls and I’m so glad to have them as friends.

I love you guys!

Daydreams

It was sweatshirt weather in Southern Ohio. Not cold enough for us to be able to see our breath, but just cold enough for me to be glad that I’d remembered to grab my sweatshirt, despite my bare feet and ripped jeans. We sat in the tiny ditch on the side of the road in the country, trees surrounding on each side; it felt like we were in the middle of nowhere, even though we were only twenty minutes out of town. The occasional pair of headlights would appear at the top of the hill and pierce the darkness, illuminating our faces. A slight breeze made it feel colder than it was, and I felt my hair blowing against his arm, which was only inches from mine.

The breeze rustled the leaves in the trees around us, and suddenly he was jumping up, grabbing my hands and pulling me up next to him. I cocked my head, confusion written across my face, along with a smile, and playful jubilee on his. He wordlessly pulled me into the road, and twirled me around, laughing. I giggled at his spontaneity as we began to dance. We danced and I tilted my head back, smiling. We danced and we twirled and we loved. We spun around the in the middle of the empty road under a sky blanketed with stars so numerous; trying to count them would be like trying to find a tear dropped in an ocean. We weren’t graceful in the least, but there was something about it- him and me, us, together.

I imagined us dancing, this time surrounded by people we loved and who loved us back. Me in a pure white ball gown and him in a crisp black tuxedo, twirling and swirling hand-in-hand around a ballroom, swept away in each other, satisfied in simply knowing that he had waited for me, and I for him. Contented by the fact the God had kept us safe and sound and secure while he was out there and I was out there, and led him to me at precisely the right moment.

I liked the moments like these, the secret, silent ones, where were alone, and didn’t need words to describe what we were feeling, because we just knew. Whenever we had moments like those, I weird sensation always gushed over me, and I knew he felt it too. It was like I was made for these moments. For this moment. The sense of charm and wonder and enchantment that filled the air and swirled all around us.

It was the kind of moment that made you want to relive it later. The kind that made you want to bottle it up and keep it on a shelf where everyone can see.

So Many Quotes, So Little Time

Day 5 – your favorite quote

‎''To all you girls that think you're fat because you're not a size 0, you're the beautiful one, it's society who's ugly.'' - Marilyn Monroe

"If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side"

“And then my soul saw you and it kind of went "Oh there you are. I've been looking for you.””

“He's not your prince charming if he doesn't make sure you know that you're his princess.” -Demi Lovato

“I want to think again of dangerous and noble things. I want to be light and frolicsome. I want to be improbable, beautiful and afraid of nothing as thought I had wings.” -Mary Oliver

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” –Walter Bagehot

“We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are.” –Anais Win


"We have tomorrow, bright before us, like a flame."- Langston Hughes

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence in which you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt

"The Bible will keep you from sin, but sin will keep you from the Bible."

"Act Swiftly Awesome Pachyderm!" -Horton Hears a Who.

"If we ever forget that we are a Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under." -Ronald Reagan

"When we can overcome the love of power with the power of love, there will be peace." -Jimi Hendrix

"Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten." -G.K. Chesterton

Maybe I'm Just A Dreamer

“I don’t want to be called sexy, hot, cute or even pretty. I want to be called
beautiful.”

I love that quote because it’s exactly what I feel. Nothing is beautiful anymore. Everything is ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’. If a guy ever calls me beautiful, I’ll know he’s something special.

See it’s my opinion that the words ‘hot’ and ‘sexy’ has been bogged down by so many repulsive, disrespectful implications, that it has ultimately become a derogatory term. It has a devious way of cheapening whatever it is that it’s describing, and it tends to bug me.

I want a guy to fall so deeply and madly in love with him, that even if I’m in my sweats, my hair in a ponytail, sobbing with makeup running down my face, to him, I’m still nothing less than beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning.

“This I truly know: she’s out there. My Cinderella. She is real. She exists. I pray for her constantly. May God satisfy the desires of her heart, draw her close, consumer her. May He claim her passions, her identity, her refuge, her hopes, her strengths and weaknesses, every fiber of her being. May she treasure and cherish her Savior more than anything of this world, and cling to His will with every ounce of her stamina. By all that she is, does and strives to be, may He draw near to her and she to Him.” (Adam Young)

I want a guy like that.

A guy who only wants the best for me. Who wants me to be more caught up in God than I am in Him. And guys like that are hard to come by these days. But I know I’ll find the one. With God’s help.

Even when we’re eighty- five and in a nursing home, I still want him to be utterly enamored with me. When he sees me, I want his mouth to go dry and his heart to beat widely around in his heart like a dull jackhammer. And the butterflies in his stomach to feel as if they’ve overdosed on caffeine. I I want him to be speechless. I know it’s a tall order, but hey, with God, all things are possible, right?

“And I feel like getting married and knowing that she saved herself for me, and I for her. And God kept her safe and sound and secure for me while I was off flying and scuba diving and she was off dreaming and singing and blushing.” (Adam Young)

How romantic would that be? I mean, saving yourself for your future husband or wife? If he was the only one you’ll ever be with? Wouldn’t that make you feel beyond special, if he loved you so much, even before he met you, that he never gave his body away? Even more importantly, if he never let anyone else even come close to where you will one day be. Can you even imagine?

I know that there are a lot of things for me to see and a lot of things for me to do. There’s plenty of years left until I fall in love.

Time. There’s so much time.

There’s so much time left and lots of life seasons. There’s so much to see, do and be. I have my whole life ahead of me.

But I am happy. I must take it all in and treasure reality. With a heart crammed full of dreams as life plays out day- by- day. Should I do that, I’ll finally rest assured knowing that one day, my day will finally come.

“All beautiful are you, my darling. There is no flaw in you.”
-Song of Songs 4:7

Love, Nellie

In Fifteen Years...

We all know it. The question teachers always ask us.

“What do you want to do?”

“Who do you want to be?”

And last but not least…. “Where do you see yourself in fifteen years?” For me, the picture is quite clear. In all honesty, you’ll probably laugh.

I want to be out of college (University of Chicago, anyone?). I want to marry young. I daydream about falling in love… being utterly smitten. I want four or five kids- at least two girls and two boys. Right now, the names I like for the boys are Mason and Ayden, although I also like the name Hayden, and Cooper too. And for the girls, I like Abigail and Ella. I want to live in Florida, New York City, Chicago, Texas or California. In a big city, a small town, or a beach town. I want to drive either a black truck or a black Jeep Wrangler. I want pets- a cat, two bulldogs. The girl bulldogs name will be Spike, and the boy bulldogs name will be Gus (I know. Stop laughing.)

I want to own a five star restaurant and I dream of being a famous author. One other thing is that I want to do something about human trafficking and the sex trade. I’m not sure what, yet, but I want to have an impact on it. I want to live close enough to my children’s school so that I can walk them to and from school. I want to be friends with my kids. I’d love if they could tell me everything, and they knew it. I want to have close friends- the same ones I have now- as everyone always does.

You’re laughing. Stop that!

Okay…. You can laugh. I laugh about it too. It’s not completely serious. Well, I do want to be completely and hopelessly in love- I want to still get butterflies in my stomach when I see him smile, even when I’m eighty-three. I do want four or five kids, and I want to be an author. Everything else is just what I think would be nice right now, on this day and at this time. It could change at any moment.

But it paints a pretty picture, doesn’t it?

“Cast all your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.”

-Psalm 55:22

Still dreaming, Nellie (:

Hopeless Romantic? Oh Yes.

Day 2 – Your Favorite Movie

I love so many movies. I realize I said that about songs, but you must know, I’m a very indecisive person. I love romantic comedies like Get Smart, The Proposal, Father of the Bride, and Just Friends. I like watching Teeny- Bopper movies like Monte Carlo, A Cinderella Story, I hate horrors and scary movies, but I love little kid movies, like Up and Horton Hears A Who. I’m a sucker for sappy love stories- The Notebook, The Last Song, Chasing Liberty, Life As We Know It, When In Rome, Beastly and Letters to Juliet.

But my favorite movie of all time is A Walk To Remember. I love that movie with a passion. It’s so adorable (and cliché, I know).

She didn't belong, she was misunderstood, and she would change him forever

Jamie (Mandy Moore) was the last person Landon (Shane West) was likely to fall for. The daughter of the town's Baptist minister. She's serious, conservative and as far from cool as she could possibly be - and she doesn't care.

Landon is the opposite. Aimless, moody and reckless. He has no plans for the future and no faith in himself. When a prank played on a new classmate goes wrong, Landon's punishment is to tutor a young student on weekends and participate in the school play - activities that are definitely uncool and bring him into close contact with Jamie

With the scorn of his friends and initially against Jamie's wishes. Landon finds himself falling in love with her and all the things he isn't. Being together will test everything they believe in. Most of all, it will test the power of love and faith to transform a life into something worth living. (http://claudiachristin.blogspot.com/2011/05/walk-to-remember.html)


Adorable, right?

Here are some of my favorite quotes from A Walk to Remember:

Jamie: You know what I figured out today?
Landon: What?
Jamie: Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I'm sick. To help me through all this. You're my angel.

Landon: I'm sorry she never got her miracle.
Reverend Sullivan: She did. It was you.

Landon: What are you doing here?
Jamie: I could ask you the same question.
Landon: Do you normally walk alone in cemeteries at night?
Jamie: Maybe.

Landon: Jamie saved my life. She taught me everything. About life, hope and the long journey ahead. I'll always miss her. But our love is like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel it.

Eric: Talk to me man.
Landon: About what?
Eric: About you, about Jamie.
Landon: What's there to talk about? She's the best person I've ever known.

Eric: This girl is changing you and you don't even know it.

Landon: All I know is... you're beautiful.

Landon: Jamie... I love you. [long pause] Now would be the time to say something.
Jamie: I told you not to fall in love with me.

Chose Life

Yesterday was silent day at my school.

Anyone who wanted one, got a red bracelet that said “LIFE” on them. If you had one, you were supposed to be silent the entire day. It was to show the fact that as a school, we’re against abortion. I participated, and it was really interesting to think about. All over the school were signs with facts about abortion on them.

Here are some facts I bet you didn’t know:
Abortion is legal through all 9 months of pregnancy
At 18 days after conception, a baby has a heartbeat.
At 6 weeks following conception, the baby’s brain waves can be measured. At 8 weeks after conception, the stomach, liver, and kidneys of the baby are functioning, and fingerprints have formed. At 9 weeks, the unborn child can feel pain.
If a pregnant woman is killed, the murderer is tried as double murder, of the woman and the unborn baby, but if a pregnant women has an abortion, its’ legal.
For every two babies born another baby dies in an abortion.

That's 1.5 million babies each year;
That's 4,000 babies every day;
That's 1 baby every 20 seconds;
That's Approximately 50 million babies since 1973;
And that's just here in America.