A Little Bit of Heaven

Wings

2012-02-06T15:29:00.000-08:00

“I want to think again of dangerous and noble things. I want to be light and frolicsome. I want to be improbable and beautiful and afraid of nothing as though I had wings.” -Mary Oliver

Unity Through Tragedy

2012-02-06T15:24:00.000-08:00

This is the fifth person at my school who has died this year.

First was an English teacher, from cancer.

Then Corey and Christina from the car crash back in November.

Next was my friend’s cousin, Chris, who committed suicide a couple weeks ago.

Now, the football coach’s daughter died in a car crash on the Thursday night of the week Chris committed suicide.

It’s weird, in an awful way. Our school family has been through so much together. We’ve had happy times, for sure, but the loss this year has been immense.

People always say that they didn’t know people our age could die, and I would think “Are you stupid? Everyone can die!” But now I understand. You know they can die, you just aren’t expecting it. They’re so young; they have so much life ahead of them. They haven’t lived long. You just don’t expect it to happen to someone as young as them.

The girl who was killed in the car crash on Thursday night, she went to a school nearby that my friend’s mom taught at. We made a banner for them, like they made for us when Corey and Christina were killed back in November. We’ve been having fundraisers, to raise money for her family, just like our rival schools did for us.

My friend’s mom told me that they were stunned by everything my school has done for them, and I remember back in November. A week after Corey and Christina died, our principal came over the announcement system, and told us that one of our rivals raised $5 thousand dollars for us and the families, and our other rival raised $3 thousand.

I remember being shocked, and even though I was gutted about the accident, knowing that even though we were opponents, that they really came around us and supported us when we needed it.

I truly believe that God is using these tragedies to pull us together and bring us to him. Please pray for our school, and the other schools that have lost someone. Thanks!

2012-01-18T14:48:00.000-08:00

"Never underestimate a girl’s love for her favorite band. Never think even for a minute, that she won’t defend them to her death. Because it’s not just the music that makes that band her favorite. It’s the guys, the gals. It’s the fans. People whom of which she has interacted with thanks to the band. That band might of saved her life, or just made her smile everyday. That band has never broke her heart and has yet to leave her. No wonder she finds such joy in her music."

- Alex Gaskarth

The Bean!

2012-01-18T14:39:00.000-08:00

Day 17 – an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc.)

I love the Bean in Chicago. I absolutely love it. It’s so cool, the way it’s like a giant mirror, reflecting everything around it.

I'm honestly in love with Chicago. I want to go to college there, and I love everything about it.

Drowning

2012-01-10T14:36:00.000-08:00

Day 16 – a song that makes you cry (or nearly)

A song that makes me cry has to be Storm by Lifehouse. It’s about how God didn’t take us this far to just abandon us, and even when it doesn’t seem like it, He’s always with us, He’s always watching over us.

“And I will walk on water

And you will catch me if I fall

And I will get lost into your eyes

I know everything will be alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown

I know everything is alright

So why am I ten feet under and upside down

Barely surviving has become my purpose

Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you

Everything would be all right

If I'd see you

This darkness would turn to light”

I’ve listened to this song many times, the volume all the way up, tuning out the world, trying to believe that God is still me. And he still is, I know it.

Love, Nell

Secret Passages

2012-01-05T15:39:00.001-08:00

Day 15 – your dream house

I want a big, old house, with huge rooms and bright colors and a secret room or passage.

Or, I’ve always wanted to live in a modern skyscraper-top apartment, with a huge window, overlooking a big city.

30 Day Challenge

2012-01-05T15:20:00.000-08:00

Hello Friends! If you remember, I've been doing the 30 Day Challenge. I haven't been doing it everyday, so obviously, I fail the challenge. But I'm going to coninue doing it, just because it gives me something to write about, when I've got writers block.

But, I'm going to cheat and skip today's (Day 14 – a non-fictional book), because honestly, I don't know that I've ever read a non-fiction book.

Thanks for reading!

Meant To Be, Supposed To Be

2012-01-04T19:52:00.000-08:00

“Sometimes, you have to step outside of the person you've been and remember the person you were meant to be. The person you want to be. The person you are.” -H.G. Wells

New Hat!

2012-01-04T19:35:00.000-08:00

Hey Ya'll! Sorry I haven't been posting lately; exams are next week and I've been really busy with review packs and life in general. So today, I'll tell you about my day.

I went shopping with my mom, and if I do say so myself, it was pretty successful! Here's what I got:

New hat: $8.95

Four- In- One Movies (What a Girl Wants, A Cinderella Story, Chasing Liberty, The Sisterhood of the traveling pants): $9.99

A Walk to Remember: $9.50

Castles Calender: $11.50

I'm quite satisfied with the results :)

Have a great day!

Moonbeam

2012-01-01T20:54:00.000-08:00

“I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.”

-Mary Anne Radmache

Another Year, Another Chance

2012-01-01T20:49:00.000-08:00

Happy New Years, Friends! How did you bring in the new year? How did you celebrate? What are your resolutions? What do you want to change about this year?

Well, here's to making this year the best year of our lifes! :)

My Perfect Man

2011-12-26T20:04:00.000-08:00

So I’m sitting here, watching The Perfect Man and scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I see that one of my friends recently got engaged. I don’t know the whole back story, or how he did it, but the pictures were adorable. They got engaged on a snowy hill in Colorado, him standing in rose peddles, her cheeks red more from anxious excitement than from cold.

And the perfect man is about a girl who creates a fake, perfect man for her mom, who keeps landing in bad relationships. It’s about stumbling into love and not looking for it. After all, isn’t that why they call it falling in love? Because you don’t mean too, you just do.

But on the subject of the perfect man, I sometimes love to dream. Okay, no, I always love to dream. I tell myself that whatever guy I end up with in the end, he’ll be way better than anyone else, but it’s fun to make up your own perfect man. What would he be if you could chose? What color hair? How old? What color eyes? Muscular?

I would want him to be a blonde or brunette. He’s be taller than me, and be maybe a year or two older. He’d have the body of a soccer player or rock star. You know, they’re all tall and skinny, but not gangly. They still have muscles, but not overwhelmingly large ones. It’s adorable. He’d have an accent, preferably British, or even Irish. He’ll have strategically placed dimples and a smile that brightens the room, and his, and his eyes lights up the room. His intense emerald eyes will light up when he smiles, and he’ll make adorably funny faces when I’m upset or we’re fighting, or just for fun. He’d be his own person, and know who he is. He’d be the same in the dark and in the light. He’d be silly and know how to have fun, but also know when to get serious.

But then again, those are only from my imagination, things I like to pretend about. It’ll all change by next week. Some things I am serious about, like my perfect man needing to be the same wherever, whenever, whoever he’s around, no matter what. He needs to know who he is. And also I need someone I can have fun with, someone who I can be both silly and serious with.

There are silly things I want, like accents and dimples, and serious things I want, like a growing relationship with Christ and honesty. And I’m not giving up until I find a guy who meets all my requirements- requirements, not wishful dreaming. Who cares if a guy has blonde hair or black hair? What matters is what he’s like. Call me picky. Call me close- minded. Call my standards too high. Call me whatever you like, but I’m not settling until I find my perfect.

“Because a flower like this is perfect. And giving a woman a dozen of them, it’s like saying there is such a thing as perfect. And it’s out there. Don’t give up. You’ll find it."

A Wrinkle In Time

2011-12-22T11:57:00.001-08:00

Day 13 – a fictional book

My favorite book in the entire world would have to be, no contest, A Wrinkle in Time. My mom and I used to read it together when I was younger. We’d lie in her bed, our cat beside us, and we’ read one chapter a night. One night she would read it, the next night, it was my turn. So part of the reason I love it so much is probably because of the memories, but it’s really a good book.

“A Wrinkle in Time is the story of Meg Murry, a high-school-aged girl who is transported on an adventure through time and space with her younger brother Charles Wallace and her friend Calvin O'Keefe to rescue her father, a gifted scientist, from the evil forces that hold him prisoner on another planet.”

OCD? Who, Me?

2011-12-22T11:48:00.000-08:00

Day 12 – something you are OCD about

I’m not really OCD about anything in particular. I am, however, OCD about little things, like if I’m sitting on my bed, and I glance up and see a shirt inside my closet with the sleeve inside out, I can’t focus on anything until I fix that shirt. Or really, anything like that. If I’m cooking, and there’s a mess, but I notice one little part of it, I have to clean that part before I do anything else.
I’m not sure why, honestly.

Taking Time to Smell The Flowers

2011-12-22T11:17:00.000-08:00

Day 11 – a photo of you recently

I love this picture. Don’t you just love posing for pictures?

When Bridget Comes to Town

2011-12-21T17:12:00.000-08:00

I just realized, I never told you what happened when Bridget came back to Ohio for a weekend, so I’ll let these pictures tell the story.

11:11 on 11-11-11!

We wished for world peace.... Going big!

We had a great time, and I can’t wait until I get to see her again!

Memories Always Come With Pictures

2011-12-21T16:55:00.000-08:00

Day 10 – a photo taken over 10 years ago of you

I’m not sure how old I was in these pictures; probably around three or four. We have so many pictures from our childhood, and I love these three of me when I was younger. Wasn’t I precious?

Strength, Courage, Confidence

2011-12-21T16:49:00.000-08:00

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence in which you really stop to look fear in the face.. You must do the thing you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt

To Pluto and Back

2011-12-21T16:30:00.000-08:00

Hey, guys! I entered a scholarship contest recently, and I need your help. I wrote a short story, and entered it on Figment.com. It's judged by you guys. The stories with the most "heart it's" are chosen in the top finals, and after that, I believe that actual judged chose the winner.

So, if you'll do me a huge favor, If you'll go on Figment.com and read my story, and click "heart it", I would love you to Pluto and back. The story is called "Thank You", and it's the one that I shared with you in my last post.

Here's the link: Thank You

Thank's so much!

Love, Nell

Thank You

2011-12-15T16:22:00.001-08:00

My wide eyes searched the huge room, scanning each person’s face, looking for the only one that really mattered. Two years ago, I’d stood in this same place, walked this same path. Only then, my heart had been hammering like a jackhammer in my chest from fear and sorrow, not anticipation, like now. Tears had been pouring down my cheeks, my heart following the guy who’d just boarded a plane.

I search for Caleb’s deep green eyes, the ones I could see so brightly in my mind, even when we were oceans apart. I search for his brown hair that used to fall over the tops of his ears, and his strong hands, the ones that looked so tough, but were really so tender.

My eyes briefly pause on each person’s face, moving on when I see that it isn’t his familiar face looking back at me, etched with a lopsided smile and strategically placed dimples.

Finally, my eyes land on someone whose face echoes mine, anxiousness and impatience engraved in every inch of his countenance. His eyes find mine, and his grin spreads across his face. I start towards him, not breaking his gaze as my pace quickens, and his does the same.

A few steps before he reaches me, Caleb drops his black duffle back and I rush into his outstretched arms. My feet are lifted off the ground as he hugs me and my arms hook around his neck. His embrace is so strong, so tight I can barely breathe, but I don’t care. My feet touch the ground again, but the rest of me is still on Cloud Nine. I run my fingers over the light stubble on his jawbone as he cradles my head in his hands and presses his lips to mine.

He pulls away and holds me at arm length, hands on my shoulders. The smile on his face doesn’t fade as his eyes wander from my head to my toes and back again. I knew what he was doing, because I was doing the same. He wanted to take in everything that had changed in the two long years since we’d last seen each other. He wanted to memorize me, just as I wanted to memorize him. His army- green camouflage uniform was tucked into his combat boots, his last name stitched into a patch on his chest, and his dog tags hung around his neck. His cocoa colored hair was cut in a typical military cut, short and standing up straight.

Caleb pulled me back towards him, into another embrace, kissing me another time before he grabbed his duffle back and laced his fingers with mine, his thumb stroking the back of my hand, back and forth, back and forth. We head towards the exit of the crowded airport, and just before we reach the swinging doors, an older gentleman stops us, his hand on my husband’s shoulder.

“Thank you.”

Lighthouses, Beaches and Benches

2011-12-10T08:38:00.000-08:00

Day 9 – a photo you took

I took this picture in Petoskey, Michigan on Vacation a couple years ago. We were on the pier at sunset one night, and I got a lot of really great shots.

This was taken up on Lake Superior, on the beach where we stayed for a couple of days in Michigan. It was so gorgeous, looking out the window and seeing the waves crashing on the sand.

I’m not sure what beach this was taken at, but it was taken on the way home from Michigan, in a nature park somewhere along the way.

This picture was taken when we got off the boat, coming back from Mackinac Island. It’s a bench along the beach in a park.

This is another bench in that same park. You can actually kind of see Mackinac Island across the water. I don’t know why I love this picture so much, but I do. It’s one of my favorites from the trip.

Tears For Africa

2011-12-10T08:26:00.000-08:00

Day 8 – a photo that makes you angry/sad

This is a picture of a child soldier in Africa, who was abducted by Joseph Kony. He’s a dictator in Uganda, who is abducting children from their homes and forcing them to become killers and fight in his war, which has gone on for over 25 years. Kony is the leader of the Lord’s Resistance Army, also known as the LRA.

I’m involved in an organization called Invisible Children, which works to end the war and rescue the children. Here’s what they have to say:

“The war in northern Uganda has been called the most neglected humanitarian emergency in the world today. For the past 23 years, the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) and the Government of Uganda (GoU) have been waging a war that has left nearly two million innocent civilians caught in the middle. The GoU's attempt to protect its citizens from this rebel militia has largely failed, resulting in an entire generation of youth that has never known peace.

In recent years more and more international attention has been focused on this crisis. In 2001, the US Patriot Act officially declared the LRA to be a terrorist organization - a huge step in drawing attention to the conflict and the atrocities committed by the LRA. In 2004, Congress passed the Northern Uganda Crisis Response Act, the first piece of American legislation to address this disaster. And in 2005, the International Criminal Court (ICC) issued arrest warrants for Joseph Kony and four of his top commanders.

On December 24th 2008, the LRA launched a retaliatory attack against the people of DR Congo. In apparent desperation and a renewed will to spread terror to DR Congo, the LRA murdered over six hundred and abducted more than one hundred and sixty children to fight amongst its ranks. More than 104,000 Congolese have been displaced since Christmas in attempts to escape the LRA forces.As the motives of the LRA become more ambiguous and their crimes more horrific, Invisible Children remains committed to seeking sustainable solutions to foster an environment that encourages peace. We are supporting and equipping a generation ravaged by war so that they can finally know peace. Invisible Children addresses the need for access to education and economic development through innovative programs on the ground.”

It makes me so furious that one man can instill such terror and fear in so many. We need to do as much as we can to make this a known conflict, since so many people are unaware of the war that’s changed so many people’s life.

Fables and Fairy Tales

2011-12-10T08:01:00.000-08:00

Once a week, I'm going to start posting a picture and a quote, and hopefully, together, each will be mean more to you. Enjoy!

"Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten." -G.K. Chesterton

Inner Music

2011-12-10T07:47:00.000-08:00

“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” -Sylvia Plath

‎"What no wife of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he's staring out of the window." -Burton Rascoe

“A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket.” -Charles Peguy

“Writers are not just people who sit down and write. They hazard themselves. Every time you compose a book your composition of yourself is at stake. “-E.L. Doctorow

“There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.” -Walter Wellesley Smith

"There's only one person who needs a glass of water oftener than a small child tucked in for the night, and that's a writer sitting down to write." -Mignon McLaughlin

‎"A story should have a beginning, a middle, and an end... but not necessarily in that order."

"Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand." - George Orwell

"I want to write books that unlock the traffic jam in everybody's head." - John Updike

‎"Books want to be born; I never make them. They come to me and insist on being written, and on being such and such." -Samuel Butler

"There are thousands of thoughts lying within a man that he does not know till he takes up the pen and writes." -William Makepeace Thackeray

“Writing, I think, is not apart from living. Writing is a kind of double living. The writer experiences everything twice. Once in reality and once in that mirror which waits always before or behind.” – Catherine Drinker Bowen

"If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it." -Anais Nin

"To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music the words make." -Truman Capote

"Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depth of your heart; confess to yourself you would have to die if you were forbidden to write." -Rainer Maria Rilke

Erin and Lyss!

2011-12-10T06:52:00.001-08:00

This is a picture of me and my two friends, Alyssa and Erin. They’re cousins and they’re both hilarious, they’re constantly cracking me up and leaving me wondering why I have such weird friends- in the best way possible.

Alyssa is so funny. When you're with her, you can't help but laugh. She's so gorgeous, and great at so many things. I'm honestly really blessed to know her.

I've known Erin since third grade Sunday School at our church. She always says that she used to be quiet, at least until she met me. Now she's the craziest person I know, and I love her with all my heart.

They’ve both been through a lot- we all have- and we stick together. They’re both really amazing girls and I’m so glad to have them as friends.

I love you guys!

Hello Beautiful :)

2011-11-26T11:32:00.000-08:00

Operation Beautiful was started by twenty- six year old Caitlin. It’s a mission to make women feel beautiful and love themselves. Caitlin says “The goal of the Operation Beautiful website is to end negative self-talk or “Fat Talk.” If this little blog only does one productive thing, I hope it helps readers realize how truly toxic negative self-talk is — it hurts you emotionally, spiritually, and physically."

She says "Through my own experiences fighting Fat Talk, I’ve realized the power behind an anonymous act such as Operation Beautiful. When I post a note, I’m saying, “I CHOOSE to be positive!” I began Operation Beautiful by leaving positive messages on the mirrors of public restrooms — at work, at the gym, at the grocery store. I scribble down whatever comes to mind — "You are beautiful!" or "You are amazing just the way you are!" My personal goal is to leave as many Operation Beautiful notes as I can. Maybe some people read them and just smile, but I bet some people are truly touched by the effort of a random stranger.”

Ever since I found out about Operation Beautiful, I’ve posted notes….

Seen notes on desks…

Even posted one on my bedroom mirror!

I recently went through a stage where every time I looked in the mirror, I didn’t like what I saw. I really just didn’t like it. Finally, I decided that I was tired of putting myself down and being miserable. After all, how could I tell other people that they were beautiful, if I couldn’t believe it about myself? So now, every time I find myself putting myself down, I simply tell myself "You’re gorgeous," and smile.

Every time I find a note, like the one to the left, it makes me smile, and I can’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. It’s one thing to see the hundreds of pictures on OperationBeautiful.com- those are beautiful, don’t get me wrong- but seeing them in real life makes it so much more… real. I think “I’m not alone in this. Other people see the importance of this.”

Something’s messed up. If girls feel the need to skip a meal, or throw up after eating, or cut to ease the pain, or are constantly putting themselves down. If they feel the need to pluck, wax, shave, dye, straighten, color, clip, something needs to change. They’re- WE’RE- spending way too much time in front of the mirror, obsessing and scrutinizing, wishing our faces were more acne-free, our stomach thinner, our legs more toned. We wish we could be more like that girl in the magazine, the mall, on TV. We live in the land of “if only’s” “If only I was thinner, he’d like me.” “If only my hair was curlier, I’d be beautiful.” “If only I don’t eat this, I’ll be skinny.” “If only…” And everywhere we look, it’s telling us that it’s okay. All the women on TV are thin. All the women in magazines have perfect skin. All the woman in movies have perfect hair and teeth and legs. We feel worthless. We can never be good enough to be what society says is beautiful. We aim so high but can never hit the mark. And I, for one, have a problem with that. Because real beauty doesn’t come from dieting or tanning or dying. Where does it come from? It comes from inside. And I know that sounds cheesy, but real beauty is strong, and real, and confident, and powerful. It loves who it is and doesn’t care what society wants it to be. You can’t find it anywhere but inside of you. You won’t find it in the gym trying to lose just 10 more pounds. You won’t find it in fitness magazine. It’s not something that comes out when its covered with makeup or swallowed with a pill.

No, darling, beauty’s what lies inside.

I’ve been where many of you are, and I’ll probably be there again one day. I’ve hit rock bottom more than once. I know that feeling ugly and worthless brings you down. But a beautiful woman is a confident woman, and she is certainly a force to be reckoned with. Nothing can bring her down, not the words of others nor the pictures in a magazine of a size one model. And believe me with what I’m about to tell you. From one woman to another: You are beautiful. Just the way you are. You don’t need to change a thing to be gorgeous. You, just as you are, enough. I know that you’re reading this and thinking “That’s so true, except for me.” But no. Don’t believe that lie, because it’s coming straight out of the mouth of the Devil. You aren’t the only exception. Be confident with who you are and who you’ve grown to be. You’re the only you there’ll ever be, so why waste the only life you’ve been given with trying to be somebody else? Beauty comes in different forms for every woman. Natural, wonderful, healthy, fabulous, unique. That’s what you are, and that’s what beauty is.

“So society, consider this the official Declaration of The War on Beauty. Because we are a thousand voices strong, and a beauty that’s our own, we are so beautiful. More SIMPLY saying; bring it on.” (http://operationbeautiful.com/dear-society/)

We're A Family And We Miss You

2011-11-21T12:58:00.000-08:00

Saturday morning, two students from my school were killed in an awful car crash. They were driving home late at night from bowling with friends when they were hit by a drunk driver who was going easily over one hundred miles per hour, according to eye witnesses.

The girl, Christina was giving Corey a ride home from bowling. She was stopped at the light and making a call to tell her brother, who made it through the light in front of her, that she would be home in a minute, a few minutes before they were hit. The boy, Corey Cooper was flung out of the car, and one eye witness tried to help and performed CPR with no response. When paramedics arrived, they were both taken to the nearby hospital, and later pronounced dead.

They were both so young. Corey was only 18, just a senior at my school. Everyone who knew him, or even just saw him in the hallways, knew he was always smiling and laughing. The girl, Christina, was 20, a recent graduate of my school. I barely knew Christina, but I had spoken to Corey on Friday after school for the first time.

I had gone with my friend to talk to the yearbook advisor before we went to hang up posters. I sat on one of the desks while she talked to the teacher about advertisements for the yearbook. Corey walked in to talk to the teacher, who held up a finger. “One minute.” Corey nodded and we exchanged a couple words while we waited. My friend finished up and we left, leaving Corey with the teacher.

Then Saturday I get on Facebook and find out he’s been killed.

It’s awful. I was touched by his life, even though I didn’t know it until it was too late. It’s overwhelming to go on both Corey and Christina’s Facebook pages, or even just scroll down my news feed and see all the posts, pictures and statuses about both of them.

“Tomorrow is going to be hard, walking into school and 7th period, and lunch without seeing Corey. But the truth is that we all can make a difference and DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!!!! R.I.P COREY ♥”

“Can I please wake up and all this just be a horrible nightmare!? :'(“

"Of course the first thing I hear on the radio this morning is about the accident.. & the silence of the senior hallway is the loudest thing I've heard in my life."

"Today was so quiet and sad. God wanted two great people with him two days ago and we all have to be there for each other gone but not forgotten RIP."

"The silence today was almost unbearable. Even though i didn't know you very well Corey, rest in peace ♥"

“Carroll's a family. When one of us hurts, we all hurt. We miss you, Corey.”

"Well congratulations . You decided to drink and drive , and you killed a twenty year old girl , and a high school student graduating in less than six months . . . He was laughing , always laughing , and if not smiling . . . I have one question , how will you live with yourself ? I couldn't . Rest In Peace , Corey & Christina . Corey , I'm really gonna miss your smile

“Walking into Kroger and knowing that Christina isn't going to be there to check you out is the worst feeling ever, then seeing the memorial they have set up for her really tops it off.. Just when I begin to accept the truth that they're gone I'm forced to remember it all over again.”

“I hate stupid people... Without them we would still have you... Rip Corey♥”

“Two things today should have taught everyone was never
drink and drive! You might think your fine but one drink means don't drive! And also make sure you live each day like your last cause you never know when it could be your last. R.I.P Corey and Christina :(“

“Not even knowing him his tragedy has hit me deep. My prayers go out to his family and loved ones. He will not be forgotten and I know that for sure. His life shows me that you have to live life like today is your last day. From what I have heard he is the model of living life to the fullest and having fun in the process.”

Today was so quiet and sad god wanted two great people with him two days ago and we all have to be there for each other gone but not forgotten RIP“We aren’t just a school. We're a family. Once a patriot, always a patriot. RIP Corey.”

“Only the good die young" RIP Corey and Christina. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and all who have known them... I wish I could be there for the memorial service but just know I am praying with all of you.”

“One time I was talking to Corey, for some random reason, and even then, he told me that life was short and you have to live it to the fullest extent. And I didn't even know him, but I honestly feel like he did that. Clearly, he was extremely loved, and I just wish I could have gotten to know him better. RIP Corey Cooper”

“It can never be explained why God would take two amazing people away from us, but we can hope they are in a better place right now with God and his angels. Love you Corey and Christina. You two always brightened my days and knew how to make me laugh ♥”

Today, the first day back to school since the accident, was the worst day ever. The school was silent. There was a memorial set up in the lobby near the senior hallway, and counselor’s in the chapel. Everyone was crying, and those who didn’t know him were silent, just out of respect for those who did. All the teachers said something about them about them at the beginning of class. Some told us that we could just lay our heads down if we needed to, any time throughout the class, and if we felt the need to go to a counselor, we could just ask and we were immediately allowed to go to the chapel. A lot of students did, and everyone was so depressed and upset. Thank you to the faculty for helping holding us together in this hard time.

Our school is now one filled with pain and anger. We’ve become a family through this tragedy, but we need God more than ever, and I’m praying that God will give us the strength to keep going without Corey and Christina with us. R.I.P Corey and Christina. We love and miss you.

Happiness

2011-11-19T09:52:00.001-08:00

Day 7 – a photo that makes you happy

This is a picture of me and my brother, Vladimir- I call him Vova. I'm not honestly sure why. I just remember when i was younger, saying that I didn't like the name Vladimir and was going to call him Vova. And it stuck. He’s only a month and eight days older than me, and he’s always quick to point out the eight days. He was adopted from Russia when we were five.

The photo was taken in my room, and we were just hanging out. Him drawing at my desk, me writing on my bed, like we do often. We both got bored and I pulled out my camera, and we took a bunch of pictures. This is one of the best ones.

He’s one of my best friends, and I love him a lot.

Statistics

2011-11-18T20:00:00.000-08:00

Today in my New Testament class our teacher had us all take a card from a deck. We had to find the three other people who had the same suit as us. He had us move our desks into a circle with the people in our group.

He had us read a passage in the Bible about anger, and then put a list of
questions on the Smart Board. One of them was “What makes you angry?” Everyone in my group answered, and when it got to be my turn, I answered “Human trafficking.”

The boy sitting to my right, Jacob (not his real name) burst out laughing. “What? I asked. I’d been afraid that someone would laugh, but human trafficking truly makes me furious, so I had decided to take the chance and say it.

“Human trafficking?” He managed as he tried to catch his breath. “How does that make you angry?”

“Because it’s wrong.”

“So? Do you see people being trafficked?”

"No, but that doesn’t be okay. I mean, it could happen to anyone. It could be happening down the street and we’d never know it.”

“Wait, guys, what’s human trafficking?” The only other girl in our group asked.

“It’s when-” I started to explain, only to be interrupted by Jacob.

“Sex slavery.”

The girl looked at me, and I nodded. “Well, yeah, it can be.”

“Oh.” She nods.

“I still don’t see how that makes you angry.” Jacob turns back to me. “You don’t see it happening.”

“So? You don’t see abortion actually see abortion happening, but it still makes you mad.” I referenced something that the girl has said earlier, about how abortion made her mad.

“No I don’t. That was her. I don’t care.”

“But do you see my point?” I argued. “Just because I don’t see it happening doesn’t make it okay, Jacob.”

“No, I don’t, but whatever. Anyways, my sister makes me angry.”

Friends, as I’ve said before, human trafficking, for whatever reason, has affected my life. God has placed it on my heart, and even though I don’t personally know anyone who’s been trafficked, it’s a big deal to me. I want to do something about it. I want to change the world one day, and
this is how I want to change it.

Human trafficking is an awful thing. There are more slaves today than were seized from Africa in four centuries of the trans-Atlantic slave trade. Sometimes the victims are kidnapped from places they’re familiar with, sometimes they’re told that they’re going to get a work for a modeling agency or are told they are going to get a job, and when they agree to go with the men who spoke to them, or even agree to simply meet up with them, they’re taken and sold to the highest bidder.

Runaways and abuse victims are big targets. Statistics show that runaways only last an average of forty-eight hours on the street before a pimp snatches them up. As many as 1,000 ads on Craig’s List sell underage girls for sex today. Children under eighteen are the largest group of trafficking victims in the U.S. and twelve years old is the average age of children being enslaved. Sex trafficking is the third largest criminal industry, after drugs and arms dealing.

10 Ways to Help:

1. Spread the word.
The more people who know about human trafficking, the more people there are to help stop it.

2. Use your talent.
Write a blog post about why we should fight human trafficking. Paint a picture and
display it publicly. Use a sports event to raise awareness and funds. Write a song or talk about human trafficking at a concert. Create a short film and post in on YouTube. Use what you do best to make a difference!

3. Invest in Freedom.
One way you can join campaigns is through financial support. Your donation will be used to fight human trafficking through many different ways, such as covering legal fees as well as costs related to health care and housing for rescued
victims.

4.Organize a fundraiser.
Wash cars, hold a bake sale, have a garage sale. At your fundraiser, be prepared to
tell why you’re doing it and explain your cause.

5. Start an awareness group.
Start an awareness group at your local school, university or youth group. Get your
friends involved in spreading the truth about human trafficking to your
community.

6.Educate yourself.

There are many fantastic movies about human trafficking and modern day slavery.

Recommended reading materials:

1. Not For Sale: The Return of the Global Slave Trade--and How We Can Fight It - by David Batstone.

2. The Natashas: Inside the New Global Sex Trade - by Victor Malarek

3. Terrify No More: Young Girls Held Captive and the Daring Undercover Operation to Win Their Freedom - by Gary A. Haugen and Gregg Hunter

4. The Road of Lost Innocence - by Somaly Mam

5. Ending Slavery - by Kevin Bales

Recommended Movies (for mature audiences only):

1. Human Trafficking (2005)
2. The Jammed (2007)
3. Trade (2007)
4. Taken (2008)
5. Lilya 4-Ever (2002)

Recommended Websites:

http://www.thea21campaign.org/home.php

http://www.ijm.org/

http://www.stopthetraffik.org/default.aspx

http://streetgrace.org/

http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/

7. Pray
Never underestimate the power of prayer!

8. Motivate the media
Encourage your local newspaper or television station to cover stories about human trafficking, as well as what your community can do to help stop it.

9. Support survivors
You can support survivors by donating items for newly rescued victims. One suggestion is new clothes such as pajamas, socks and other essentials as survivors often come to us with only the clothes on their back. Another way to support survivors is to buy products made by survivors of human trafficking.

10. Help victims escape.
Leave local rescue hot line numbers in public places around your city. For ideas and free downloads, visit nhtrc.polarisproject.org

(http://www.thea21campaign.org/21-ways-to-help.php)

Seeking Help:
1-800-232-6459 Focus on the Family
helpline
1-800-RUNAWAY Runaway hot line
1-800-999-9999 Covenant House
1-800-394-4673 Christian Teen Hot line

Joseph Stalin once said that one death is a tragedy; one millions is a statistic.

And I’m sad to say that statement can be true. 27 million people are victims or trafficking right now. And to me, 27 million can be just a number, simply a statistic.

I know it can be that way with other people too- it certainly was with Jacob. I want to change that- even for just one person. For the students in my classes. For the people who read my blog. And especially for the people who are part of that statistic.

Daydreams

2011-11-17T17:00:00.000-08:00

It was sweatshirt weather in Southern Ohio. Not cold enough for us to be able to see our breath, but just cold enough for me to be glad that I’d remembered to grab my sweatshirt, despite my bare feet and ripped jeans. We sat in the tiny ditch on the side of the road in the country, trees surrounding on each side; it felt like we were in the middle of nowhere, even though we were only twenty minutes out of town. The occasional pair of headlights would appear at the top of the hill and pierce the darkness, illuminating our faces. A slight breeze made it feel colder than it was, and I felt my hair blowing against his arm, which was only inches from mine.

The breeze rustled the leaves in the trees around us, and suddenly he was jumping up, grabbing my hands and pulling me up next to him. I cocked my head, confusion written across my face, along with a smile, and playful jubilee on his. He wordlessly pulled me into the road, and twirled me around, laughing. I giggled at his spontaneity as we began to dance. We danced and I tilted my head back, smiling. We danced and we twirled and we loved. We spun around the in the middle of the empty road under a sky blanketed with stars so numerous; trying to count them would be like trying to find a tear dropped in an ocean. We weren’t graceful in the least, but there was something about it- him and me, us, together.

I imagined us dancing, this time surrounded by people we loved and who loved us back. Me in a pure white ball gown and him in a crisp black tuxedo, twirling and swirling hand-in-hand around a ballroom, swept away in each other, satisfied in simply knowing that he had waited for me, and I for him. Contented by the fact the God had kept us safe and sound and secure while he was out there and I was out there, and led him to me at precisely the right moment.

I liked the moments like these, the secret, silent ones, where were alone, and didn’t need words to describe what we were feeling, because we just knew. Whenever we had moments like those, I weird sensation always gushed over me, and I knew he felt it too. It was like I was made for these moments. For this moment. The sense of charm and wonder and enchantment that filled the air and swirled all around us.

It was the kind of moment that made you want to relive it later. The kind that made you want to bottle it up and keep it on a shelf where everyone can see.

The Things That Fill My Heart

2011-11-04T12:30:00.000-07:00

Day 6 – 20 of my favorite things

1.My lavender Converse (and my neon pink ones too!)

2.Thunderstorms (http://www.rainymood.com/)

3.Bonfires

4.Being barefoot

5.My IPod

6.My Camp Jabez horses

7.Panera’s Asiago Cheese bagels

8.Snow days

9.Getting a handwritten letter in the mail

10.Laughing till my stomach hurts and I can’t breath

11.Someone telling me that I made them feel better

12.Wedding pictures

13.Finding a new book by my favorite author

14.Owl City (Adam Young)

15.Watching the stars on a big country sky

16.Bulldogs

17.Daydreaming

18.My cowboy boots

19.Sleeping in on the weekends

20.Halloween- or really, any excuse to wear a costume

So Many Quotes, So Little Time

2011-11-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

Day 5 – your favorite quote

‎''To all you girls that think you're fat because you're not a size 0, you're the beautiful one, it's society who's ugly.'' - Marilyn Monroe

"If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side"

“And then my soul saw you and it kind of went "Oh there you are. I've been looking for you.””

“He's not your prince charming if he doesn't make sure you know that you're his princess.” -Demi Lovato

“I want to think again of dangerous and noble things. I want to be light and frolicsome. I want to be improbable, beautiful and afraid of nothing as thought I had wings.” -Mary Oliver

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” –Walter Bagehot

“We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are.” –Anais Win

"We have tomorrow, bright before us, like a flame."- Langston Hughes

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence in which you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt

"The Bible will keep you from sin, but sin will keep you from the Bible."

"Act Swiftly Awesome Pachyderm!" -Horton Hears a Who.

"If we ever forget that we are a Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under." -Ronald Reagan

"When we can overcome the love of power with the power of love, there will be peace." -Jimi Hendrix

"Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten." -G.K. Chesterton

Book Worm

2011-11-04T08:43:00.000-07:00

Day 4 – your favorite book

For all of these questions, I don’t have one single answer!

I love Delirium by Lauren Oliver, The Hunger Games series, by Suzanne Collins, Vanish and Valley of the Shadow by Tom Pawlik, Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, Bound By Guilt and Thicker Than Blood by CJ Darlington, The Charmed Life series by Jenny B Jones and the Forever Faithful series by Karen Kingsbury.

I love reading and I read all types of things. Mysteries, Romances, Religious, I’m not particular to one genre of books.

All of these books are amazing, they’re all really well written and the plots are great. I recommend that you read all of them.

I Watch Too Much TV

2011-11-04T08:37:00.000-07:00

Day 3 – your favorite television program

My all-time favorite TV show is probably Bones. It’s about Dr. Temperance Brennan and FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth who both work at the Jeffersonian Institute with Cam, Sweets, Angela, Hodgins and different interns. The all work together to solve murder mysteries.

I also love Modern Family, The Middle and Sing Off. I actually know one of the people on Sing Off this season. Kendall Young from Delilah. She used to go to my church and our parents have been friends for years. I also really like Monk and Psych. Monk is about an OCD detective and Psych is about a guy who pretends to be a psychic with the police.

29 Photos

2011-11-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

That’s Jessica. She’s this super amazing girl with an incredible eye for photography and she can see the beauty in everything and everyone. She’s absolutely gorgeous and so much fun to be around. She can always make you feel better about yourself and make your day 100% brighter.

We both love photography, and my dad’s a photographer. She came over on Saturday, and he let us use his camera to practice our photography. We took turns being the photographer and the photographed.

See? She takes something so minuscule and insignificant, something that other people stomp on and ignore and she makes it beautiful.

I love photography, and like to think I’m good, but Jessica really has an eye for it. I never would have thought to take a picture of this.

One shot. She only needed to one shot to get this picture!

I love this picture. The lighting and everything, and frame, its perfect.

Now some pictures by me, not that they could possibly follow those pictures.

Now back to pictures by Jess...

I only have three words to describe this picture: Cutest. Thing. Ever.

I love this one. All the blues make it a really amazing picture. Looks like something out of a travel brochure.

I love this one. Its one of my favorites. (okay, I know I’ve said that about a lot of them. But I can’t play favorites!)

A lot of these were taken with her ipod camera, Like this one.
This is one of my favorites! I’m a soccer fan, and I just love the action and suspense in this picture.

Feels like Halloween, huh?

This looks like a Christmas card. Its one of my favorites.

Amazing, right?

I'm Not Ready

2011-10-27T19:39:00.002-07:00

I wrote this a couple of months ago, when one of my best friends moved eleven hours away.

We had a surprise going away part for Bridget last night. We set up at this park, and I was assigned the job of bringing her. We picked her up, and I told her that I really wanted to go to the park, since it was like two minutes from her house. We headed over, and we walked towards the dock,where everyone was waiting.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone jumped up, and surprised she was. "I thought I saw Michaela over there, but i wasn't sure. I was like 'Why would Michaela be here?'" i kept asking her over and over if she was honestly surprised. She insisted that she was.

We all sat along the dock and ate pizza, but soon we heard rolls of thunder in the distance. We started to gather our things to go up to the picnic shelter, but we weren't fast enough. The heavens opened and rain poured down on us. We scrambled to grab things, and all ran up towards the shelter, slipping on the wet grass. We finally reached it, and we called Megan's parents to ask if it was okay for us to move the party over to their house. They agreed, and we all piled into cars and drove five minutes to their house. We hung out in their basement, eating more pizza, eating cake, playing WII and Apples To Apples. Then, after most people had left, a couple of us headed over to my house for a sleepover. I can barley remember what all happened that night, except that it was honestly one of the best nights of my life.

***

Bridget moved yesterday. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.

On Wednesday, I went over to our friend Erin's house. Erin and I had started making a scrapbook for Bridget, and we needed to finish it. All of our friends had made pages, but Erin, Jessica and I were the only ones there to finish it. Jessica left about halfway through to go to a swim meet. We finished it and then headed over to Bridget's house. We met up with Erin's cousin, Alyssa, and helped Bridget's family load some heavy stuff into the moving stuck. We ate some pizza and sat outside on the sidewalk, talking about everything. We saw this giant spider, and we all freaked out. Erin poured 7- Up, Coke and water on it, but it wouldn't die. Eventually we lost track of it and went back inside.

We then gave Bridget the scrapbook. We had each done something for her in the scrapbook. Alyssa drew a picture, i wrote a letter, Erin wrote a song, Megan wrote a poem, and Jessica wrote a song. Bridget read them all out loud and we all cried. Then everyone but me left, and we went to Ritter’s with her family to meet up with their realtor. Then we went back to their house, and Bridget and I went up to her room. We read each other’s stories and listened to music for a while, just like old times.

Then we talked and laughed and sang and danced and did everything. We had just lain down on her floor to go to sleep when her eyes bugged out, and she gasped, looking behind me.

"What??" I freaked out. I thought her loft bed was about to fall, or the wall was cracking or something bad like that. I looked back, and there was a giant spider on the wall. She screamed and ran out of the room, coming back with a paper towel. As she tried to catch the spider, she tripped over the cord to her iPod dock, causing it to fall over, her iPod fall out and shuffle, and start blasting a song. I laughed even harder.

Everyone else was asleep, and her screams woke her mom, who came in. "What's going on?" She asked, half asleep. I stood by the door, laughing so hard as Bridget freaked out about killing the spider.

"I swear, Mom, we had just put on an acoustic song and lay down to go to sleep, and then I saw a spider." Bridget tried to explain as she reached for the spider, and then pulled her hand back, freaking out again.

Eventually, she got it, her mom went back to sleep, and we laid down again. I laughed for quite some time in the dark.

"I didn’t think it was that funny!" Bridget protested.

"It was! It was hilarious!" I said through my giggles. "What is it with us and spiders?" That made her laugh.

The next day, we helped her family load the moving truck. Jessica and her mom came over and helped too. Then my mom came over and helped, and so did some of Bridget's moms friends.

Jessica, Bridget and I sat on the back of the moving truck when we weren’t doing anything, and took totally random pictures. Jessica and her mom had to leave at around 4:30. I watched their moms hug and then two of them hug.
"This isn't goodbye."

"We'll stay in touch." I almost cried, just watching them.
Her mom turned to her and said "We should go. This isn't going to get any easier." I don't know why, but that stuck with me. That moment keeps replaying in my head.
They left, and then just me and Bridget hung out. She finished cleaning out her closet while I lay on the floor and played her guitar along with her iPod. Erin and Alyssa stopped by for about 5 minutes for a finally goodbye, which was sad.
At about 6, my brother came to pick me up. Bridget and I hugged and exchanged goodbyes, along with our reassuring each other that we would stay in touch and visit all the time.

I got into the car, put in my iPod, rolled down the window, and tried to hold back tears. I didn't want to cry until I was in my room alone.
Yeah, that didn't work.

At a stop light, I saw a man in a black truck staring at me as I cried. When I got home, my mom had made my favorite dinner, but I wasn't hungry. I took a shower and cried, and cried, and cried.

It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

People say that if you love something to let it go. Do I love her enough to let her go? I've thought about this a lot, and I’ve come to my conclusion. I love her so much that I don't want to let her go. I'm so selfish, wanting to keep her here for myself.

But i have to let her go.

I'm working on trusting God with this. It's so hard, but I believe that one day, we'll be together again, and in the meantime, God will keep us both safe and sound.

"Listen to my prayer, O God, do not ignore my plea; hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught... My heart is in anguish within me...Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest."
-Psalm 55: 1-2, 4, & 6

But good news, guys! Bridget’s coming to visit for a whole weekend in just elevenmore days! I could not possibly be more excited. I’m so ecstatic I swear, I’m going to burst.

As always, Nellie (:

Even Now

2011-10-27T19:39:00.001-07:00

I started at their little Ohio school in 5th grade. I remember it like it was yesterday. I sat next to Bridget, and though we both knew each other from our church- we’d been in the same class since first grade- but we weren’t close friends or anything. But hey, the not being friend’s thing could change. I sat with Lucy that day at lunch, and she told me all about the school- the cool teachers, people to avoid, the cafeteria food- the chicken nuggets and pizza were good, but the hamburgers and the Salisbury steaks weren’t. The next day I sat with Bridget, then Lucy, then Bridget. We eventually began sitting together, the three of us. We became inseparable. Us apart? Unthinkable. We started a little "club", if you will. It was just the three of us. We pretended to be super heroes- Lucy was Roxxi, Bridget was Brittany, and I was Mary Kate. It evolved to a huge game of House. Love, friends, breakups, family- even in fifth grade we had it down pat. We called it Super Girls, AKA SGs. We hung out all the time, playing SGs. We loved it. It lasted for a year, of all three of us at the same school.

Bridget switched schools at the beginning of sixth grade. Me and Lucy continued it, and we tried to keep Bridget in the loop. Bridget went to my church, so I'd fill her in on Sunday mornings and Wednesdays nights at our youth group. Eventually, Bridget kinda just.... faded from Super Girls. Me and Bridget stayed friends, but her and Lucy just grew apart, I guess.

Me and Lucy kept playing Super Girls. She moved across the state the summer before seventh grade (we're freshmen now), and we kept SGs going. We did it over the phone, on IM, at sleepovers, but it stopped at the middle of eighth grade. I don’t know why, but it just… stopped. I know, it sounds lame. We played house until eighth grade? Weird, I get it. But it was what we did best. It was fun. It was us.
Lucy and I? Our sleepovers are now far and few between. Every time we try to get something together, she cancels last minute. Lucy likes her new school, has new best friends, we rarely talk, but I still consider her one of my best friends. Why? Only God knows. But it hurts to see how much she loves her new life, and how she left me in the dust. But I guess I just gotta move on, because as far as I know, she has.

I feel like I’m losing friends left and right. First Lucy, and now Bridget’s leaving soon. It’s not fair! I never wanted to lose any of these friends. I love them all so much.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to help you and not to hurt you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I know that the verse above is true, you have no idea how much I know it. It’s just really hard to believe it sometimes. Like now. But even now, I try to trust Him.

Even Now.

Maybe I'm Just A Dreamer

2011-10-27T19:35:00.000-07:00

“I don’t want to be called sexy, hot, cute or even pretty. I want to be called
beautiful.”

I love that quote because it’s exactly what I feel. Nothing is beautiful anymore. Everything is ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’. If a guy ever calls me beautiful, I’ll know he’s something special.

See it’s my opinion that the words ‘hot’ and ‘sexy’ has been bogged down by so many repulsive, disrespectful implications, that it has ultimately become a derogatory term. It has a devious way of cheapening whatever it is that it’s describing, and it tends to bug me.

I want a guy to fall so deeply and madly in love with him, that even if I’m in my sweats, my hair in a ponytail, sobbing with makeup running down my face, to him, I’m still nothing less than beautiful. Gorgeous. Stunning.

“This I truly know: she’s out there. My Cinderella. She is real. She exists. I pray for her constantly. May God satisfy the desires of her heart, draw her close, consumer her. May He claim her passions, her identity, her refuge, her hopes, her strengths and weaknesses, every fiber of her being. May she treasure and cherish her Savior more than anything of this world, and cling to His will with every ounce of her stamina. By all that she is, does and strives to be, may He draw near to her and she to Him.” (Adam Young)

I want a guy like that.

A guy who only wants the best for me. Who wants me to be more caught up in God than I am in Him. And guys like that are hard to come by these days. But I know I’ll find the one. With God’s help.

Even when we’re eighty- five and in a nursing home, I still want him to be utterly enamored with me. When he sees me, I want his mouth to go dry and his heart to beat widely around in his heart like a dull jackhammer. And the butterflies in his stomach to feel as if they’ve overdosed on caffeine. I I want him to be speechless. I know it’s a tall order, but hey, with God, all things are possible, right?

“And I feel like getting married and knowing that she saved herself for me, and I for her. And God kept her safe and sound and secure for me while I was off flying and scuba diving and she was off dreaming and singing and blushing.” (Adam Young)

How romantic would that be? I mean, saving yourself for your future husband or wife? If he was the only one you’ll ever be with? Wouldn’t that make you feel beyond special, if he loved you so much, even before he met you, that he never gave his body away? Even more importantly, if he never let anyone else even come close to where you will one day be. Can you even imagine?

I know that there are a lot of things for me to see and a lot of things for me to do. There’s plenty of years left until I fall in love.

Time. There’s so much time.

There’s so much time left and lots of life seasons. There’s so much to see, do and be. I have my whole life ahead of me.

But I am happy. I must take it all in and treasure reality. With a heart crammed full of dreams as life plays out day- by- day. Should I do that, I’ll finally rest assured knowing that one day, my day will finally come.

“All beautiful are you, my darling. There is no flaw in you.”
-Song of Songs 4:7

Love, Nellie

In Fifteen Years...

2011-10-27T19:22:00.000-07:00

We all know it. The question teachers always ask us.

“What do you want to do?”

“Who do you want to be?”

And last but not least…. “Where do you see yourself in fifteen years?” For me, the picture is quite clear. In all honesty, you’ll probably laugh.

I want to be out of college (University of Chicago, anyone?). I want to marry young. I daydream about falling in love… being utterly smitten. I want four or five kids- at least two girls and two boys. Right now, the names I like for the boys are Mason and Ayden, although I also like the name Hayden, and Cooper too. And for the girls, I like Abigail and Ella. I want to live in Florida, New York City, Chicago, Texas or California. In a big city, a small town, or a beach town. I want to drive either a black truck or a black Jeep Wrangler. I want pets- a cat, two bulldogs. The girl bulldogs name will be Spike, and the boy bulldogs name will be Gus (I know. Stop laughing.)

I want to own a five star restaurant and I dream of being a famous author. One other thing is that I want to do something about human trafficking and the sex trade. I’m not sure what, yet, but I want to have an impact on it. I want to live close enough to my children’s school so that I can walk them to and from school. I want to be friends with my kids. I’d love if they could tell me everything, and they knew it. I want to have close friends- the same ones I have now- as everyone always does.

You’re laughing. Stop that!

Okay…. You can laugh. I laugh about it too. It’s not completely serious. Well, I do want to be completely and hopelessly in love- I want to still get butterflies in my stomach when I see him smile, even when I’m eighty-three. I do want four or five kids, and I want to be an author. Everything else is just what I think would be nice right now, on this day and at this time. It could change at any moment.

But it paints a pretty picture, doesn’t it?

“Cast all your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.”

-Psalm 55:22

Still dreaming, Nellie (:

Hopeless Romantic? Oh Yes.

2011-10-27T19:14:00.000-07:00

Day 2 – Your Favorite Movie

I love so many movies. I realize I said that about songs, but you must know, I’m a very indecisive person. I love romantic comedies like Get Smart, The Proposal, Father of the Bride, and Just Friends. I like watching Teeny- Bopper movies like Monte Carlo, A Cinderella Story, I hate horrors and scary movies, but I love little kid movies, like Up and Horton Hears A Who. I’m a sucker for sappy love stories- The Notebook, The Last Song, Chasing Liberty, Life As We Know It, When In Rome, Beastly and Letters to Juliet.

But my favorite movie of all time is A Walk To Remember. I love that movie with a passion. It’s so adorable (and cliché, I know).

She didn't belong, she was misunderstood, and she would change him forever

Jamie (Mandy Moore) was the last person Landon (Shane West) was likely to fall for. The daughter of the town's Baptist minister. She's serious, conservative and as far from cool as she could possibly be - and she doesn't care.

Landon is the opposite. Aimless, moody and reckless. He has no plans for the future and no faith in himself. When a prank played on a new classmate goes wrong, Landon's punishment is to tutor a young student on weekends and participate in the school play - activities that are definitely uncool and bring him into close contact with Jamie

With the scorn of his friends and initially against Jamie's wishes. Landon finds himself falling in love with her and all the things he isn't. Being together will test everything they believe in. Most of all, it will test the power of love and faith to transform a life into something worth living. (http://claudiachristin.blogspot.com/2011/05/walk-to-remember.html)

Adorable, right?

Here are some of my favorite quotes from A Walk to Remember:

Jamie: You know what I figured out today?
Landon: What?
Jamie: Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I'm sick. To help me through all this. You're my angel.

Landon: I'm sorry she never got her miracle.
Reverend Sullivan: She did. It was you.

Landon: What are you doing here?
Jamie: I could ask you the same question.
Landon: Do you normally walk alone in cemeteries at night?
Jamie: Maybe.

Landon: Jamie saved my life. She taught me everything. About life, hope and the long journey ahead. I'll always miss her. But our love is like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel it.

Eric: Talk to me man.
Landon: About what?
Eric: About you, about Jamie.
Landon: What's there to talk about? She's the best person I've ever known.

Eric: This girl is changing you and you don't even know it.

Landon: All I know is... you're beautiful.

Landon: Jamie... I love you. [long pause] Now would be the time to say something.
Jamie: I told you not to fall in love with me.

Chose Life

2011-10-20T16:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was silent day at my school.

Anyone who wanted one, got a red bracelet that said “LIFE” on them. If you had one, you were supposed to be silent the entire day. It was to show the fact that as a school, we’re against abortion. I participated, and it was really interesting to think about. All over the school were signs with facts about abortion on them.

Here are some facts I bet you didn’t know:
Abortion is legal through all 9 months of pregnancy
At 18 days after conception, a baby has a heartbeat.
At 6 weeks following conception, the baby’s brain waves can be measured. At 8 weeks after conception, the stomach, liver, and kidneys of the baby are functioning, and fingerprints have formed. At 9 weeks, the unborn child can feel pain.
If a pregnant woman is killed, the murderer is tried as double murder, of the woman and the unborn baby, but if a pregnant women has an abortion, its’ legal.
For every two babies born another baby dies in an abortion.

That's 1.5 million babies each year;
That's 4,000 babies every day;
That's 1 baby every 20 seconds;
That's Approximately 50 million babies since 1973;
And that's just here in America.

Ask My IPod

2011-10-20T16:43:00.000-07:00

Day 1: Your favorite song

My favorite song? How am I supposed to choose? I have so many! But at the moment, some of my favorite songs are:

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

Are You Happy Now by Megan and Liz

Daydreams by Breanne Duren

All About Us by He Is We Ft. Owl City

Where the Light Is by Anthem Lights

Hold Me Together by Royal Tailor

Free Fallin’ by John Mayer

On My Way by Boyce Avenue

Absolutely (Story of a Girl) by Nine Days

I’m big on music. I’m constantly listening to music. I listen to it falling asleep, when I’m getting ready in the morning, when I’m writing, when I’m with friends and when I’m baking or cooking. I love finding new songs and bands.

What are your favorite songs, friends?

30 Day Challange

2011-10-15T10:17:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Since I’m new at blogging, I’m not so sure about what to write. A friend told me about the 30 Day Challenge, and I thought it was a good idea. Maybe this will get my creative juices flowing.

Day 1 – your favorite song
Day 2 – your favorite movie
Day 3 – your favorite television program
Day 4 – your favorite book
Day 5 – your favorite quote
Day 6 – 20 of my favorite things
Day 7 – a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 – a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 – a photo you took
Day 10 – a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 – a photo of you recently
Day 12 – something you are OCD about
Day 13 – a fictional book
Day 14 – a non-fictional book
Day 15 – your dream house
Day 16 – a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 – an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc.)
Day 18 – my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 – a talent of yours
Day 20 – a hobby of yours
Day 21 – a recipe
Day 22 – a website
Day 23 – a YouTube video
Day 24 – where I live
Day 25 – your day, in great detail
Day 26 – your week, in great detail
Day 27 – my worst habit
Day 28 – what’s in your handbag/purse
Day 29 – hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 – a dream for the future

Introducing Me!

2011-10-15T10:02:00.001-07:00

Hello there! I’m not quite sure how good I’m going to be at this whole blogging thing, but I’m going to give it my best shot.

I guess I should start by telling you a little about me, huh? My name is Nell. No, before you ask, Nell isn’t short for anything. I used to hate it, but now I really like it. Its old fashioned and elegant. I wasn’t named for anybody in particular. Some people call me Nellie, but only people that I’m really close to. It bothers me if someone that I barley know calls me that. I guess it’s something you have to earn.

I wouldn’t say I’m anything particularly special. I’m average. I’m not tall, but I’m not short. I’m not overweight but I’m not skinny. My hair isn’t straight but it isn’t curly either. Everything about me is in- between.

I’m a total bookworm. I’m constantly reading, and I can finish a 300 page book in a day. I read the entire Hunger Games trilogy in 2 days. I also absolutely love writing, and I’m currently working on my second novel. I’ve also got about a dozen short stories that I’ve written.

I’m obsessed with pillows. I know that sounds really weird, but I absolutely love them. I have a bunch on my bed and littered around the floor of my room. I can’t sleep without at least two, and I always have to have one of my little throw pillows with me when I sleep. I love them!

All of my interests are really varied in a weird way. Like, I love reading and writing, but I hate learning about English. I hate science but love astronomy. I hate math but love logic problems. I don’t know where all my random interests came from.

I’m a really sentimental person. I save all letters, cards and notes. I’m constantly taking pictures. I save movie ticket stubs. I’m always saving little mementoes of times with my friends or people I love, and I love looking through old photographs. I love the way things like that may mean something to you, but nothing to anyone else. The way those things capture memories.

Well, I can’t think of any more random stuff. Thanks for checking out my blog!

Love, Nell

"I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength."
-Philippians 4:13